trying to live an animal crossing life in vancouver is hard

💌 life in van (the highlights & lowlights)

life in van has been good in february. i feel like i’ve just been on the go this month, which has been nice. i feel like this month has flown by and i’ve done quite a bit, but i think i neglected to schedule some time for myself and recharge. work has also been ramping up lately - currently tied to 4 projects meaning i’m supposed to be billing 60 hours of work a week to clients but only allowed to getting paid for 40, alongside internal initiatives that have just been a headache.

i was speaking to a work friend earlier this week, and basically the partner had a talk with her basically saying that “consulting wasn’t a 9-5 job” and that she should “set less boundaries or she will form a reputation as someone who always pushes back”. funny enough, she was someone i saw online working late frequently in december. we even had calls at 11pm where i’d run through slides with her & bounce ideas off of.

so really, i think the way you succeed in consulting is one of the following:

1. have good connections (there was a time when we gave an offer a girl who had the shittiest resume & interview but had a dad who was had a high position at a potential client)

2. have a big & corporate-charismatic personality (idk how some people are getting promoted over others this year but get away with having sooo little work where they can log on at 9:30am and log off at 3pm and spend half the day planning trips))

3. sacrifice your social & personal life and set no boundaries at work (i think one of my partners is lowkey getting desperate to find a mans; she’s been like making weird comments to some people in the team)

anyways, since i don’t want to end on a sour note, i’ve been doing good at balancing life and work this month - i’ve barely touched work over the weekends (except for an occasional hour or two), i’ve been batch-cooking with niall, i’ve seen the homies & life has been full of exciting adventures.

💘 some gratitudes this month:

• seeing JUICE with joseph

• jainer’s climb-aversary pizza party was v wholesome & got some fun problems 🥳 🍕

• life drawing with audrey was super fun & so therapeutic - will be trying to incorporate this into my weekly routine ✨

• sunshine coast with the sunshine girlies was so relaxing & fun - loved coworking with the homies & eat upscaled instant ramen 🍜 (and winning $0.80 in poker - although niall did at some point donate a lot of chips my way 👉🏻👈🏻)

• painting cute mugs with niall for valentines day 🥰

🚫 some anti-gratitudes this month:

• onboarding to teck (new project at work) has left my brain fried most days this week

• job hunt not going super well - i find it so hard to find time & energy to complete cases/apply for jobs/stare at a screen after work. so far, i have a case study left to complete (which i think will take two more evenings), no interviews & way too many rejections

💭 lessons therapy has taught me (thx mabelle 🫶)

this month, mabelle has really drilled into me that maintaining my physical health was essential to coping with mental health. basically, i had a moment earlier this month where i think i spiralled back into a random depressive episode that i’ve had frequently in my childhood and i honestly couldn’t pinpoint what exactly drove me into that headspace.

i talked to mabelle about it, and the first thing she brought up was my physical health and how i was doing. i thought i was doing alright like i exercise sometimes (less frequently than before but i still try to do some form of exercise every week), i’ve been sleeping more than i used to in university (thx niall), i’ve been eating and cooking at home (which seems to be a lot healthier than going out for food) and i’ve just always been a anxious person who dealt with a lot of stress.

but then she made me do an assessment. turns out, i’m not as physically healthy as i thought i was. i was deficient in a few nutrients, not getting enough exercise as my body needs to feel good, not sleeping enough (apparently 5-6 hours isn’t enough??), and most importantly, i haven’t been addressing my stress levels properly in the last while.

she then pointed out that in my childhood, i had experienced those depressive episodes when my emotional needs weren’t met, or improperly addressed, and that my body could’ve associated any of deficiency (i.e., physical, emotional, etc.) to those depressive episodes. she commented that a factor that could have driven to that episode mentioned above is my body’s reaction to some deficiency in physical needs.

obviously, my physical health wasn’t the only thing that drove me to that space, but she said maintaining that aspect of my life and being more conscious of it could reduce the amount of depressive episodes i have.

🥤 sipping joos

• obviously love is blind although some of the scenes with megan fox dupe are kind of hard to watch

• been following the bachelor like no tomorrow (i don’t think maria will make it to the end but i aspire to have her confidence and rizz)

• kirby gourmet song

📈 personal stats i want to track